I'm glad you've come out of hiding enough to post again!
I found it really interesting what you said about (as I'm interpreting it) choosing to isolate yourself turning into loneliness that you then interpreted as the choices of other people. I wonder if some of that is just associations and habitual patterns of interpreting loneliness? Like we were talking lately, you are so sensitive to emotions and energy, but you aren't always accurate in your attributions of others behavior. So you see others not reaching out to you, and on their end it might be thinking "oh I haven't heard back from her, she's probably busy or wanting space like she said a while ago" while you start to think that they don't like you.
I've also noticed that you, and others (like me) have a tendency to exist at fairly extreme (relative to many people) states; you can be very engaged or very dissociated, very trusting and very fearful; very active and fairly inactive. It's something that I've realized works fairly well for you (and for many others who have this kind of temperament); but the danger is that some extremes give you something more that you have to deal with. I'm going to write more about dichotomies soon, I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around and that might clarify why my mind lately goes towards noticing (and maybe exaggerating?) varying between extremes.
I hope that's not too psychoanalytical, and I don't mean any of it as pathologizing--I think we all go through those kinds of patterns.
I like what you said about naming what is going on being helpful; it's funny how far it can go towards resolving a situation just by relieving tension about it and talking about it! I have one very recent example of that in my mind atm.
As far as stages of hopelessness go, I've found, like I said, that when I process what I'm going through at that stage, especially through writing, it eventually helps, though often not at that point.
As far as seeing people as they are and not projections . . . that's something I've been working on lately, especially in one relationship (Abe.) I find it's hardest to really listen when I'm dealing with a lot myself.
Going to post in my own lj, thank you for sharing! *hugs*
no subject
I found it really interesting what you said about (as I'm interpreting it) choosing to isolate yourself turning into loneliness that you then interpreted as the choices of other people. I wonder if some of that is just associations and habitual patterns of interpreting loneliness? Like we were talking lately, you are so sensitive to emotions and energy, but you aren't always accurate in your attributions of others behavior. So you see others not reaching out to you, and on their end it might be thinking "oh I haven't heard back from her, she's probably busy or wanting space like she said a while ago" while you start to think that they don't like you.
I've also noticed that you, and others (like me) have a tendency to exist at fairly extreme (relative to many people) states; you can be very engaged or very dissociated, very trusting and very fearful; very active and fairly inactive. It's something that I've realized works fairly well for you (and for many others who have this kind of temperament); but the danger is that some extremes give you something more that you have to deal with. I'm going to write more about dichotomies soon, I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around and that might clarify why my mind lately goes towards noticing (and maybe exaggerating?) varying between extremes.
I hope that's not too psychoanalytical, and I don't mean any of it as pathologizing--I think we all go through those kinds of patterns.
I like what you said about naming what is going on being helpful; it's funny how far it can go towards resolving a situation just by relieving tension about it and talking about it! I have one very recent example of that in my mind atm.
As far as stages of hopelessness go, I've found, like I said, that when I process what I'm going through at that stage, especially through writing, it eventually helps, though often not at that point.
As far as seeing people as they are and not projections . . . that's something I've been working on lately, especially in one relationship (Abe.) I find it's hardest to really listen when I'm dealing with a lot myself.
Going to post in my own lj, thank you for sharing! *hugs*